#2 Letter to My First Therapist
Hello Claire,
It has been a long time since I visited you. You were great and honestly I don't think I had enough sessions to determine if it would've helped. Like many other people who refuses to acknowledge reality, I think I am still very functional without the extra help.
Should I go back to therapy?
I’ve been considering this for the longest time. Okay that was a hyperbole but you know what I mean. My head feels like a book made from torn pages scraped from everywhere possible. Fiction. Non-fiction. Newspaper. Pamphlets. Printouts. Diaries. Random notes. Sometimes logical, sometimes nonsensical, sometimes ????-inducing, most of the time boring. I equate boring as safe and average. Stable, if I may.
Of course there were bouts of depressions so bad I was barely functional and it did not help that I don't really have anyone to talk to that would support me the way I wanted to be supported. My husband don't really believe in therapy. Asians in general don't subscribe to that. We are getting much better where I am at but still. My friends are all either busy living life (motherhood, career, etc...) and my family is just not like that. The one friend I could talk to is dead.
What am I hoping out of this? Do I want to be persuaded to go back to therapy? Do I want to be told I am fine? Do I just want to let this out? I don't even know what I wanted out of therapy.
I hope you get better patients than me in the future.
Cheers,
LT